We Can Do Hard Things

There is such deep cultural trauma that's been carried on for generations. That's what we are all witnessing & many experiencing.

Trauma takes on a life of its own. It's an insidious form that grows inside of us. It has a consciousness and slaps a lens over our eyes that filters out most anything else. We often don't even know it's there yet we feel it so deeply, so painfully. It's raw.

There's an antidote to trauma and it's not just in "listening". It's the ability in allowing someone to be HEARD. Being able to hold space for someone to rage and cry and fall apart and come back together - all while witnessing and holding space with courageous empathy.

Is empathy courageous? You bet. It's easy to point fingers and add fuel to fire with thoughts of disregard and disrespect. It's easy to look away when looking toward seems too hard. It's easy to walk away when you think it doesn't personally affect you, especially when you don't want it to. Some people do not have the luxury of looking away or walking away. It's the only life they know. Even when they "succeed" and "get out" - there's the constant undertone of diminished value based on their skin color.

Who are we as humans that we do this to other humans? Is this what God intended? Is this the best we can do? Right now we are looking at black and brown injustices. On other days, it's with religions. Still others, it's with national superiorities. And never forget our obsession with who's allowed to love whom. Or how we choose to take care of our families. Always a heated opinion and obsession with who's right and therefore who MUST be wrong.

Our politicians and media outlets stoke these tensions 100% of the time - ON ALL SIDES. They are NEVER neutral. Not any single one of them are neutral and rarely are any of them helpful. We need to look to each other. We need to lean on each other. We ALL need to heal our own traumas and be willing to see the traumas in others without looking away.

It's time to lean in. See someone for the soul they are - not their skin color, religion, heritage, land, money, etc. Our souls are all connected to make a collective symphony and right now our music plain sucks.

But that can change - and change quickly. We each can affect 1% of the square root of the population. We are each a pebble in the water that ripples out. Our job is to take ownership of that. Forgive those that have hurt you from a SOUL level (even if you cannot muster it from the human level). Be the person that allows someone to be HEARD. Practice reserving your judgments. Your opinions are coming from that lens. Remember - your lens is YOUR lens. It's not THE lens. Let's all be mindful of that.

Empathy. You may not agree with actions but try to understand the immense emotion that creates those actions. And then hold that emotion in love. Hold the images of people in love. Change in YOURSELF FIRST that which you'd like to see in others. When you can love on another human without it being conditional - maybe one day you'll be able to do just that with yourself as well.

We can do this. We can do hard things. Let's be the example.

With immense love & gratitude,
Jihan xoxo

Posted June 03, 2020